YOU FUCKHEADS OF THE WORLD
This is Ken Kliedon. I'm a short, fat, awkward looking guy who is fairly shy and withdrawn. And guess what? I got picked on at school. I don't mean just a little name calling, oh no, I had the whole school ridiculing me and even a couple of guys pissed on my stuff. Now it's my turn to get revenge. I'm starting a web ring featuring hate pages on all the people who really gave me a hard time in school, except Derryn, I'm going to hunt him down and kill him. Anyway, I thought I'd start with the one guy who was possibly considered almost as bigger loser as I was. Despite this, he too delighted in picking on me.
Ladies and gentlemen say hello to Andrew Zischke.
Hi, my name is Andrew Zischke but you can call me "fuck off dickhead", because that's what all my friends call me, and I know how much you want to be my friend. Everyone wants to be my friend because I'm just such a cool guy. Here, have a read of what just a handful of my friends said when I asked them what they think of me.
"Andrew, your the biggest tool I?ve ever met."
"Zischke, even other fuck heads don?t want anything to do with you."
"Get away from me cunt, you give me the creeps."
"Why are you talking to me? Fuck off!"

See what I mean. I couldn't possibly be a more loved, respected, lusted after and generally idolised individual amongst my peers. And even though you're probably already thinking, "Hey, this guy must be some kind of a god", believe me, I'm the first to admit that I have my own share of character flaws. The first is a disorder that is referred to medically as U.B.S.S, or uncontrollable bull shitter?s syndrome. What?s uncontrollable bull shitter's syndrome? Well, I?m glad you asked. A person with UBSS suffers from a physically inability to tell the truth. Because I have a severe case I am not only unable to tell the truth, but unable to say anything that even remotely resembles the truth. What this generally means, is that any attempt to have a conversation with me results in me telling the biggest "load of shit" stories you've ever heard. UBSS can be a life threatening condition if the sufferer finds themselves in a situation where they are talking to a large group of people who don't like to be told bull shit. Whilst there has not been very much research done on UBSS, it is believed that the condition is inherited or can be contracted from having sex with small woodland creatures. In my case it is believed that I developed the condition via the second method.
The second social disorder I suffer from is O.P.S, or obsessive pervert's syndrome. This condition causes the sufferer to have one person in their life at all times that they continuously obsess over, stare at and follow around. This person is known as the sufferer's "special friend". Usually a sufferer's "special friend" is of the opposite sex, but in severe cases such as mine the "special friend" can be male or female. If the condition is severe enough, the sufferer can find themselves obsessing over their special friend to the point where they begin designing a wanking machine with their special friends face on it, or constructing elaborate fantasy stories with their special friend as the main character. This is especially true if the OPS sufferer also suffers from UBSS. One of the big problems with OPS, is that if the sufferer is as popular as myself, there can often be fierce competition over who gets to be their special friend. Sometimes a special friend will even become sexually attracted to the sufferer and begin seducing them with sensual comments such as: "Leave me alone," "Fuck off prick", or, "I'm calling the police." OPS can be a life threatening disorder if the sufferer's special friend happens to have a large, over jealous boyfriend. As with UBSS, very little is known about OPS and I would urge you to support the research of this condition if you ever get the chance.
In closing, I would like to thank all of my wonderful friends who are able to see through my social disabilities and appreciate me for the true legend that I am. I am quite sure that it will only be a matter of time before my devoted followers start putting tribute sites on the Internet about me. One last thing before I go. If you are a sufferer of either of the two disorders I have mentioned or if you are a female between the ages of; birth and death who enjoys being obsessed over, followed around and watched constantly, then please contact me ASAP. Please note: These are only preferred ages. Really anyone will do.
My E-mail address is- [email protected]
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I hate this school
this is the school where my hatred grew from, I hope everyone burns in hell





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